Keep on an even keel...

What does that even mean? Teh googles tell me it means "to remain cool and calm. (Originally nautical.)"


Right. I'm doing that, for the most part. Aside from a few little panic attacks, I've been doing really well. Wiggles had a major meltdown today while I was on the phone with my MIL. Lovely. Wiggles started pinching and slapping herself because she was starting to wind down, and yknow she needed a REASON TO BE MAAAAAD. So, *pinch* I'M MAD CUZ I GOT PINCHED! *le sigh*


Me: Fine, you want to tantrum? You can tantrum in your crib. Tantrum allllll you want. Mommy's gonna go clean the kitchen. 
*tantrum continues for about 5 minutes.. then silence*
Me: *checks on Wiggles, who is now asleep* Well.. that worked better than I planned.


 So.. upcoming fun stuff. I'm going to Disneyland with a friend from out here! That should be really good times. They have a 21 month old little girl who is adorable beyond belief. I'm really excited. I'll be gone from the 12th to the 17th. No robbing my house please, though you'll have trouble getting past the 135 lb guard bear/dog. Plus, you don't know where I live so nanny nanny booboo. Please don't try to find me. I don't have much worth stealing, unless you want a cat with the IQ of an eraser.


Things are going well with my meds. No migraines, no more manic episodes. I have more energy than I'm used to, but I'm thinking this is just my normal baseline. Normal... WTF is normal? I certainly don't know, cuz I haven't been it since I was.. oh.. 13 or 14, I guess. That's about when my depression started. I'm 26 now. I've been off and on meds since then, yeah, but never really found a combo that works like this one does. Abilify, cymbalta, and topomax for my migraines. It really is working. I'm actually SLEEPING! SLEEP! Sleep is a wonderful amazing thing. Waking up feeling rested and not like a member of the shambling dead is amazing. When I was really depressed, I wouldn't sleep for days. Literally, days. I would just lay there and stare at the clock hoping to eventually become so exhausted that I'd pass out. I would, and then I'd sleep for 24 hours, only waking to pee and get something to drink. Crazyness, isn't it? Then I'd get so manic I wouldn't sleep because I didn't need it. I'd lay in bed watching movies or tv shows, or reading endless books, or sometimes just lay there and let my mind wander to the most random of places. I tried to at least rest, because even if I didn't sleep I still needed rest, yknow?


Anyhow, I must be off as the Very Angry Toddler has awoken. Until next time my fair readers.